Storytelling Competition WINNER
We held our second nature connection storytelling competition in December.
Here is the amazing story from the winner Ryan Pope. Ryan has won a spot at an upcoming Nature ONE.
We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did!
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Imagine a place so real that when you are there, nothing else can exist.
And if you could imagine for just a minute, in this place, unleashing yourself from the fears that hold your mask in place, hiding your truest self from the world.
A place that completely strips you back so you forget who you are and where you came from, and re-enter the wild again and for the first time.
No food, no plans, just Adam, my guide. Only eating what mother nature could provide. We plugged ourselves back into the circle and cycle of life for ten straight days.
Hunting hungry for food is an experience like no other. Something happens deep inside you. Take the shoes off your feet and put a bow in your hands and that something intensifies. Surround yourself with flies in 42°C and high humidity, fifteen hours from the nearest hospital and you can start to imagine the circumstances we were in. This place is hard.
Up until this point, I had only shot my bow a handful of times. It wasn't tuned and I wasn't confident. After some target practice and tuning, I was okay under twenty metres, so we went out hunting for the first time.
The very next day I'd successfully stalked my way within 10 metres from a monster Short-Horned Scrub Bull, easily the biggest animal we could come across on these lands.
He was distracted by another Scrub Bull wanting a fight. I couldn't tell if he knew I was there or not so I remained invisibly still, breaking up my shape using my own bow and the environment around me... one crushed leaf or snapped twig underfoot could mean the difference between safety and possibly needing to run for my life.
As they charged at each other I inched closer and into a better position. I still didn't have a shot but I had to wait anyway as giving my position away was no option at this distance. I was way too close. As I watched these beasts smash horns and heads the reality of my physical insignificance landed hard. Real hard. I drew a slow breath and swallowed the fear of painful possibilities of something going wrong playing out in my mind. We had barely eaten in days and I was here to experience life in the wild. So I pulled out an arrow and knocked it into place.
The fight moved even closer and a shot appeared, perfectly framed by a small triangular opening between crossed branches. I watched in disbelief as I drew my bow with another breath and waited... frozen. I was so in my head, processing, wondering and delaying out of fear for that shot to disappear... but it didn't. And after another moment I knew this opportunity was waiting for me. I released the arrow and heard a thud. My heart sank, and I immediately felt sorrow and grief for this beautiful beast.
The Bull ran, I couldn't see the arrow but I knew I couldn't move yet for my own safety. I watched the bull run, then slow and then lie down and die. I felt tremendous amounts of energy and emotion move through me. I could barely talk when Adam came over. He said, "You're a hunter now, how do you feel?" From memory, all I could string together was the word "A lot". I couldn't smile for a while.
Imagine feeling a combination of sadness, happiness, grief, guilt, gratitude and humility all at once. It was so overwhelming I couldn't really speak. I took my time to feel as much as I could and gave thanks to him for giving his life so that we could eat. The emotions did settle and after eating and feeling nourished for the first time in a while the reality of this way of life made sense for the first time.
The truth that follows this is animals are killing and eating each other all of the time. Animals are killing and eating plants all of the time. For there to be life... there must be death. Death gives life. Being closer to death than ever before has made me feel more alive than ever before.
This bull and I became connected in a cycle of death, life, rebirth and renewal. He showed me that this cycle is literally everywhere all of the time, and we are a part of it whether we see it or not. We can have the tendency to only appreciate the beauty in the living. When you walk through a forest most people only see life, when in reality there is just as much death and dying as there is life and living. The dead and dying plants and animals put nutrients back into the soil for more life and living to cycle through.
Looking at my own mortality intimately has been empowering to say the least. I feel clearer and more confident in decision making and action taking. I feel more passionate and excited to be here, and in the present moment.
This experience has also redefined what I consider to be hard and intimidating. For example, I have for too long worried about what other people think of me, and the fear of their judgement definitely controlled how I would show up in life. That fear isn't there anymore, what other people think and say doesn't compare to a Scrub Bull. Those fears aren't dangerous to me... it's only my ego that could get hurt, and all that needs to be let go of anyway.
The bush deepened the understanding that I come from the earth, not just Australia and that we are a part of something much bigger than we can feel in the towns and cities. It's almost like a default genetic and biological life purpose. We are designed to be functional elements in our ecosystem working together symbiotically with our environment.
As I write this I am feeling calm and content. Humble and confident, and most of all more grateful than I can ever remember feeling.
Becoming the wolf was beautiful and it was brutal. Life is beautiful and brutal. We are light and dark. I feel more whole, more real, more integrated, more connected to the earth, more connected to her cycles and more connected to myself.
I will always remember the bull. He reminds me I am an animal, that I belong to this earth and that I am more powerful than I think I am.
RYAN POPE
